1.  Understand the purpose of the holiday: It is a special way to commemorate a historical person or event. Or, to honor service in others, or religious meaning. Holidays include cultural, religious and family traditions and rituals.
  2. Think about the financial aftermath:  Don’t fall into traps that can potentially jeopardize your well-being by over spending. Pay bills first and plan around what you have left. Scrambling to pay the rent or keep the electricity on only generates anxiety. A well thought out letter of appreciation or homemade cookies or ornament go a long way. It’s about the “acknowledgement of relationship.”
  3. Choose what traditions and rituals are important and have meaning to you and your family:  Ask. Don’t assume. Negotiate if there are some differences. Focus on those that are important. Understand that some years, for whatever reason, everything is not going to get done.
  4. Give yourself permission to make changes: If a tradition is too overwhelming or labor intensive you have the right to alter, change or eliminate it.
  5. Learn to ask for help: This does not mean you are a failure. There is joy and camaraderie in doing something together. A shared effort and investment in the process can reduce resentment especially if you feel you are the “only-one-who-does-it-all!”
  6. Think about delegating responsibility to others: Remember to delegate only the things that you can accept when they are not done YOUR way. If you have children it can be a teaching and bonding experience. Whether it’s asking for help with the meal,putting up decorations or shopping. The people who care about you will hopefully step-up.

And if they don’t… coal!

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